Interesting question, Richard. I sort of know what you mean, but I've always enjoyed the fact that we're first in every alphabetical list of London boroughs, which does confer a special list-heading status that's not to be dismissed lightly.Your favourite - Soapsud Town - is far too close to Soapsud Island, by which name South Acton was known for many years on account of all the soapsuds it had. But here are my thoughts. How about Action Town? Then we wouldn't have bossy search engines and spellchequers prompting us "Did you mean Action, you halfwit?" every time we type the name. Also, it sounds dynamic and thrusting, which is probably a plus these days, all things considered. An additional benefit would be the vast saving on road-signs, which wouldn't need to be altered all that much. Or we could go down the slightly risible Staines-on-Thames route; but what are we "on", so to speak? Well, we're on the Uxbridge Road, and we're on the map (Acton-on-the-Map has a certain ring-road to it) and most of all we're on the wane, so Acton-on-the-Wane is a possibility. Acton-on-Impulse will always be the dream, but it's just not going to catch on. Away with such negative waves, though - Acton is actually on the up 'n' up with the coming of Crossrose and Waitrail, isn't it? So how about Acton-cum-Waitrose? After all, if it's good enough for Chorlton-cum-Freeman, Hardy & Willis it's good enough for us. Stop sniggering at the back! It celebrates our proud shopkeepery heritage, handily advertises our newest retail asset (terms and conditions apply - Waitrose may not actually materialise) and, with the addition of "cum", a soupcan of Latin to add a touch of class that will turn those pesky rich Cheesewickians green with envy. On the other handbag, many Actons in the UK have a two-part name: Acton Turville, Iron Acton, Acton Netto. OK, I actually made that last one up, but it just goes to show what can be achieved with a little imagination-type stuff. So Acton Bollo would utilise one of our ancient toponyms (that's place names to you, chief) and say something like "bucolic" to those in search of a rustic idyll with stunning views over London. Acton Stations! (complete with quirky postmodern exclamation mark) would celebrate the vast number of several numerous railway stations that we have - too many to count, at the last count. (Incidentally, an ancient mathematical problem was to devise a route through Acton that would visit each station once and once only without passing a 99p store. In 1993 the great Actonian mathematical savant Charles Hockinghouse - he named First, Second and Third Avenues on the Vale before running out of ideas - finally proved it was impossible, but came home with some really great bargains.) Then there's Acton Richard, in honour of the man who dared to dream of a new name for our beloved burgh. I know that all these suggestions are not much help, Richard, as you want to do away with the hokey oaky name and associated acorny references, so turning now for inspiration to Acton's most indisputably famous son - Adam Faith - a host of exciting options lumber into view: Adamstown, Faithville (Multi-Faithville?), Terrytown, Nelhamsby, Budgieborough (his real name was Terry Nelhams aka Budgie), the possibilities are ended. btw, for all you feminists out there, Acton has never had a famous daughter (apart from Sara Nathan obv.), so get real, yeah? Fans of The Who might like Acton Town station to be renamed Acton Townshend as a consolation prize. Well, overlong attempt at humour over, as no one ever says.
Vin Miles ● 4087d